Search Party Part 2
We all know that people are weird. We also know that people search for REALLY weird shit on the internet. But when those weird people type in their weird search queries and said weird search queries lead them to our blogs…that’s kind of off-putting. In my second edition of the meta stalking-of-the-stalkers search party, below are some recent queries, copied and pasted directly off my stats pages:
“sticky wrinkled tight boobs outfits” <— auto-redirect to The Real Housewives of New Jersey?
“tacky slutty unattractive outfits” <— see above
“can boys wear rompers” <— I’m sure Bobby Trendy owns a couple.
“when wearing a romper where does the belt go” <—dude. srsly?!?
“lohanized” <— I think I’ll dedicate an entire post to muse on this piece of jargon
“girls bedroom purple background with vertical stripes <– I don’t know why, but this one weirded me out significantly
“difference between shape magazine women’s health <– short answer? Credibility.
“c wonder target customer” <— short answer? 16-25 yr old female with Tory taste and Target pockets.
“facts about turning 26″ <— this one is the #3 most popular search on my site. WHY?!? What “facts” do you expect to glean from the interwebs when you turn 26 years old that are not already known or readily available to you prior to reaching said unexciting milestone?
“pterodactyl arms” <— and there I thought I had coined a totally unique concept 
“offensive ‘neo-navajo’ ” and “neo-navajo clothing trend offensive” <— offensive? how about effing amazing?
“should I let my daughter wear a romper?” <— no.
“is a dropped shoulder a style or just sloppy?” <— yes.
” “boyfriend jeans” fatter” <— sometimes.
“playsuit if the girl has to pee” <— this is the #4 most popular search on my site.
“how to wear a romper when your fat” <— I’m guessing the same way that you wear sweatpants when “your” fat?
“orange background with gsb on it logo” <— either someone’s trying to steal my Gravatar or they’ve misspelled that short-lived ABC show about bored, slutty Texas housewives. Say it with me now. GEE CEE BEE.
“boyfriend jeans and peeptoe boots” <— …should be the title of an episode of What Not To Wear
“utility clothing era kangaroo cloak in current fashion” <— wtf is a “kangaroo cloak”? I want one!!
” “my wisdom teeth” cigarette” <— word of advice. DON’T LIGHT THAT CIGARETTE!
“backless dress loose slut” <— no matter how you slice it, that sounds so gross.
“grown women should not be fans of hello kitty” <— this is true.
“wisdom teeth removal and iq” <— would be an example of a concurrence-without-causation question on the LSAT
“rompers cool or ugly” <— wtf do you think?
“apple id gsb” <— Apple and GSB go together like fire and ice. Just wait til I unleash that rant.
“why does tanning bed sanitizer make me cough” <— because you’re not supposed to inhale it, dummy!
“belt scene at the end of fifty shades of grey” <— I.don’t.want.to.know.
“lisa frank unicorn born this way” <— so this is pure gibberish but amusing nonetheless.
“bastardization of education through given and receiving of gift educational sector” <— whoaaaaa check out this gem! As much as I love to ponder the inner failings of the “education sector,” this type of expository prose is scarce on my blog. It tends to scare my readers and bore the shit out of my friends. Next time try Jstor, or read Pierre Bordieu’s writings about the perpetuation of class.
“star magazine mary-kate olsen 80 lbs anorexic again?” <— I sure as hell hope not! Trollsen love woop woop!
“canal street birkin” <—obviously someone watched that SVU episode where Liv’s all like “…I’m not interested in your knock-off Gucci. Got any Hermès?” And then she uncovers a whole nefarious plot with an underage sweatshop. Totally cray. PS successfully finding a convincing fake Birkin on Canal Street is about as easy as finding one that costs under $20K.
“the three trends tiger drag” <— is this like the 2nd coming of the 3 wolf moon shirt?!??
“do girls still wear moon boots in march” <— hell, I know I do!!
“searing for women wearing their fur coats all opened outside on some very cold” <— I don’t know why, but to this day, this bizarro search query reminds me of Buffalo Bill’s iconic “Are you about a size 14?” quote in Silence of the Lambs.
Should we take a vote to determine the weirdest/creepiest effing search query of all time?
Materialistic Mondays: Bananarama
Banana Republic and I have a strained relationship. We’re kind of like that dysfunctional couple that’s been together forever but has broken up at least 10 times throughout the course of its checkered and tumultuous history. I’ve been shopping at Banana since I was 13. Back in those days, Banana was my go-to for quality monochromatic t-shirts (even as an overpierced, overplucked, fuschia-haired, Kikwear-wielding little rebel, I had a penchant for adequate materials!). In boarding school, Banana provided me with chunky knits to withstand the New England winters. In college, Banana’s seasonal clearance sales saved my questionable wardrobe from sophomoric stagnation. Today, Banana comprises roughly 45% of my closet (although that is presently under intense scrutiny and re-evaluation). And yet, despite my years of dedication to the brand, I often go for several consecutive seasons where I don’t buy a single thing from the retailer, either because of ugly styles, ridiculous vanity sizing (or the opposite) bad fit, cheap materials, unreasonable prices, or all of the above.
Indeed, I often have a bone to pick with the hegemon of moderately priced preppy careerwear. Most of my frustration (which was previously documented on my old blog, and which, alas, is no longer with us) with Banana stems from its arbitrary sizing. The discrepancy in their sizing makes it difficult to shop online and to predictably pick things out from season to season without having to order multiple sizes or shop in person. I should not have to search far and wide for a size zero pencil skirt just to get something that doesn’t dangle around my hips, only to be surprised that a 2p skirt of the same style will barely zip. It’s illogical that I am a different skirt, jacket, pant, and dress size at that store, and that this formula changes season to season. It’s irritating that Banana’s suits appear to be cut for little boys, their pants for little girls, and their dresses for little boobies and big booties (but never vice-versa! not fair!). The only idiot-proof garment at Banana is typically a sweater or piece of outerwear…except over the last 2-3 years, Banana has been cutting material quality corners and adding itchy and cheap blends to their previously perfect merino wools. In sum, Banana has as many misses as hits.
This spring/summer season is no exception, but some of the hits are stupendous. Here’s a shortlist of what I’ve been coveting (and what I might have to go try on and possibly purchase tomorrow as BR Tuesdays are like a weekly shopaholic holiday for dedicated cardholders):
1. “Linda” Floral Dress, $89.99
This dress has it all: perfect shift shape, gorgeous macro flower motif, smart banding at the waist and pleating at the bust… My only problem is the awkward length. That model is at least 5’8″ and the dress hits her mid-patella (already less than ideal). That means that on a normal person (I’m 5’4), the hem would likely hit at the calf — a major no-no. If this dress does make the cut, it’s getting snipped at the bottom (and I am TOTALLY asking my mom to make me a matching headband, because I really am “that girl.”).
2. Silk “Kay” One Shoulder Dress, $89.99
I’ve been on a one-shoulder kick lately. Although asymmetrical duds play into my mild OCD and have me routinely readjusting my outfit in fear of some wardrobe malfunction, well-crafted one-shoulder tops and dresses add a touch of spontaneity or playfulness to an outfit. As a bonus, this dress reminds me of yet another Tibi dress that got away and navy and white are my favorite colors for the warmer months!
3. “Linda” Floral Pencil Skirt, $64.99
You’d think that the skirt and the dress with the same name would have the same exact print, but they don’t! And I love them both! Oh, decisions, decisions…
4. “Taryn” Stripe Hem Dress, $89.50
I don’t know why I’m drawn to this loose-fitting, jerseylicious, all-too-casual Grecian number, especially considering its decidedly smocked waist (and we know how I feel about smocking of any sort). But there’s something youthful and fun about this casual little frock. And that smocking can always be concealed with a wide rope belt, right?
5. Heritage Draped Shrug, $79.50
I know it looks kind of plain and blegh, but BR’s Heritage line is probably the best thing that it has going for it (aside from the Mad Men collaborations). Heritage even has its own little mission statement (which is, purportedly, to preserve BR’s original dedication to eco-conscious and exploration-friendly attire). In my experience, Heritage clothes usually last twice as long and cost half as much as some of BR’s other goods. Heritage is also a big purveyor of BR’s slub cotton movement (yes, slub cotton is totallya movement), and I am so down with that. This little lightweight shrug looks like the perfect beachy/lakeside/evening al fresco dining experience accessory, and I want one pronto!
So, clearly, this season Banana Republic is off to a better-than-average start, and I love it!
We all have that top/pair of shoes/jacket that got away. At the time it would have been a ridiculous impulse buy. Or way too expensive. Or completely out-of-season. Or it would have been a totally ostentatious non-necessity, and IN THIS ECONOMY that would have been completely idiotic. For one reason or another, the purchase transaction never materialized and the subsequent days and months were spent mulling over the decision to not procure, feeling regretful and guilty and confused. Sometimes redemption is achieved: the unpurchased item miraculously shows up at Mashalls or Saks off Fifth or your favorite vintage shop. Usually this is not the case, and you’re left wondering if you made the right decision. More often than not, you wish you pulled the trigger and made the acquisition instead of letting the opportunity fall by the wayside.
Sometimes you find (and lose) something so cool that you go through great lengths in an attempt to find it again, like Little Pete in search of his Polaris song. Between eBay and Polyvore, it’s not as hard as it used to be. Still, how often does a super rare item like a pair of electric blue croc-print Karen Millen cowboy boots come around? Or an ultravintage lime green Chanel camera bag? Or a meringue-hued gauze Burberry scarf that seemed to have sold out in under two weeks? Everyone say it with me now: UGGGHHHHHHHHHH.
Aside from the above referenced mea culpae, one of my biggest regrets to date was not snagging a very GSB textile from Tibi a couple of years ago. Dubbed the “Lovebirds” print, Tibi’s playful meshing of luxe and whimsical had several incarnations, and I idiotically passed on all three of them.
First there was the shift dress at Saks:
Then there was the strapless version at ShopBop:
There was even a blousy tunic that graced the collages of Polyvore:
And this print is totally sold out, gone, kaput. I pop into Neiman’s and Saks and Bloomie’s on a regular basis just to comb the clearance racks for any signs of this Tibi gem. Every time I’m at the outlets, I stop by the off-off-season department stores to see if, by chance, I’ll score (because I’ve snagged many a Rachel Pally and T-Bags dress that way!). So far, no such luck.
This type of problem is pretty typical for the financially limited Tibi lover. The label is one of the most gorgeous, creative, flattering and luxurious names out there, but their atrociously high prices make it difficult to bite the bullet and pay. The end result is always the same. While you’re sitting there, combing through your sale alerts and doing some sort of a linear regression to try to come up with a mathematical rationalization for how buying a $289 Tibi dress that you’ll wear twice a year would be a sound investment (because it’s on sale, duhhhh!), all of a sudden that dress is sold out, everywhere. Maybe there’s a lesson to be learned here: for the gal with champagne taste and beer pockets, it is absolutely imperative to keep an “emergency luxury fund.” You know, for life’s unexpected non-necessities.
Got any good item-that-got-away stories? Let’s hear them!
I don’t have much of a sweet tooth, but I absolutely love baking desserts. Not only is it super fun to measure ingredients, play with my Kitchen-Aid mixer, create funky icing from neon food coloring and have my kitchen smell like October for hours, but it’s rewarding to see people enjoy my culinary creations (without having to partake in the calorie bomb consumption myself!). Win-win!
Carrot cake has been one of my specialties for years. My mom had found a great recipe for Hawaiian Wedding Cake — a carrot cake with coconut and pineapple added in — and I’d stuck to it for several rounds until I wanted to play with healthier variations. First I cut the vegetable oil in half and replaced it with pineapple juice. Then I subbed pineapple chunks for crushed pineapple. Then I cut the sugar by a bit. Recently I stumbled upon The Neelys’ “light” recipe for carrot cake. Though seeing the home-style BBQ aficionados call something “light” seemed as odd as imagining Paula Deen trying to cook without fried butter, I read through their recipe, tweaked it by adding more fruits, veggies and spices, and ended up getting amazing results both times that I baked. Round 1 was a single layer ultra-moist cake; round 2 was a dozen delicious cupcakes.
(The end result)
My recipe tweaks to the Neelys’ approach included:
Cake:
-using all whole wheat flour instead of 1/2 whole and 1/2 white
-replacing 1/4 cup of vegetable oil with 1/2 cup of apple sauce
-adding more like 4 cups of carrot shreds instead of the suggested 3, with juice
-adding about a cup and a half of crushed pineapple, partly drained
-adding about a teaspoon of mulling spices, and extra nutmeg, cinnamon and allspice (eyeballing the portions)
Frosting:
I did 2 variations on the plain old confectioner’s sugar + cream cheese concept. One way to make the frosting healthier is to use reduced fat cream cheese, or, even better, neufchâtel. Another is to use less sugar than directed, because confectioner’s sugar is basically crack. Yet another way is to cut said “crack” mix with artificial sweetener (the finely milled kind) to limit the calories. To make the frosting more fun, I did flavors as follows:
-For lemon, I used about 2 tsp of lemon zest (as opposed to 1), a tsp of lemon extract, and a tsp of vanilla extract. Other ways to lemonize the frosting is to use dehydrated lemon peel (soak for about 15 minutes) or lemon juice instead of, or in conjunction with, the zest and extract. Zest is the most natural and fragrant, so it’s really your best bet. Vanilla extract is a great “base” to mix with everything else. To make the frosting more fun, I made it bright green by adding a few drops of neon green food coloring to the mixture.
-For coconut, I used 2 tsp of vanilla extract, 1 tsp of coconut extract, and about a cup of coconut shavings. I added one drop of neon blue food coloring to give the frosting a baby blue hue.
I stuffed the icing into pastry piping bags and went to town on the decorations! The lemon frosting got topped with yellow microglitter sugar cubes and sugar pearls; the coconut frosting got topped with…more coconut!
…And then I took a thousand pictures because the cupcakes came out so freaking cute!!!
(Coconut was the fan favorite)
Next time I’ll be extra-ambitious and I’ll also try a raspberry icing and a chocolate icing…shouldn’t be too hard to figure out! If only making macarons was this easy! 
Wandering Bird Eye Wednesdays: Waiting For the Sun
After netting something like $750 extra bucks in disposable income from vigorous sales of closet-purged clothes on eBay over the last few weeks, I’ve found myself swimming in my own hypocrisy yet again as I’ve embarked on several small shopping sprees in preparation for the upcoming warmer seasons for things that I didn’t really need. It’s hard when the sales are lucrative and the big trends du jour all feature luxuriously soft cotton blends in saturated max-wattage hues. From The Gap to The Crew, resisting all those brights and neons was not going to happen. Some of my recent splurges (click on image to purchase) include:
1. Really bright, really light short shorts at Old Navy:
(I got these for $10 a pop when they were on sale)
These shorts, while really short and kind of tight, are very lightweight, and the color options are to die for. I recommend going up a size in these (unless you’re really skinny) because given their light material, I think they look better when worn a bit loose. Sometimes Old Navy really hits it out of the park, and, given its democratic prices, we can take advantage by stocking up on a variety of fun hues!
2. Really bright, really soft vintage cotton micro-slub tees at J. Crew:
(I’ve collected a number of these over the last few months. They’re well-priced and amazing!)
J. Crew does an amazing job with their whole “casual luxury” bit. And, unlike, say, Abercrombie & Fitch, said luxury is actually well-crafted and actually affordable. J. Crew does several of these knits flawlessly — their whisper tees, linen tees, and the above pictured vintage cotton tees are the best. They all have an amazing light fit that could rival the butteriness of Stephanie B (post on my Stephanie B t-shirt addiction to follow), and since the Crew is always rotating new styles and colors through very good sales, I make sure to snag them when I see a fun shade I like. Because of their micro-slub knit and their breathable cotton composition, these tees are nice enough to be worn under a blazer to work, but casual enough to wear on weekends. I do plenty of both!
3. Super comfy, summery sweatshirts at J. Crew:
(30% off final sale + J. Crew Card rewards + student discount = major GSB score!)
And speaking of casual luxury, let’s discuss J. Crew’s sweatshirt aptitude. I used to LIVE in hoodies when I was younger, and even more so when I was fat (behold the power of the kangaroo pocket and its ability to cover a Freshman 50 beer gut!). A few years ago I traded my hoodies for cashmere sweaters, but, last month, after my husband kindly informed me that, in his opinion, “nobody can rock a crew neck sweatshirt quite like [me],” I decided to resuscitate my foray into casual knits. The spindrift sweatshirt (pictured above in stripe and hot pink) is the perfect weight, shape, and length, and the adorable colors make it the ultimate weekend go-to. I wore the striped blue one out to a nice dinner last weekend and it fit right in with the restaurant’s Horse Country Chic ahhhhmbiance. The hot pink sweatshirt was an obvious must, what with my hot pink Champion sports bra, my hot pink neon flats, and the other 28% of my wardrobe! Last but not least, the blue terry hoodie, which was on a ridiculous markdown in the store (not to mention, the last one in XS and completely sold out online in the heather blue!), is cracktastically comfortable. I wish every day was a weekend just so that I could live in this thing!
4. The brightest, funnest (and comfiest!) bow flats at Nordy’s:
(These are on sale at the Rack and at Overstock.com — perfect for spring!)
My mom and I each picked up a pair a few weeks ago at the Rack — I got the teal and she got the purple. I am usually wary of flats, especially pointy patent flats, but these Report “Kathryn” shoes are perfect in every way. Light, soft, and comfy, they brighten your entire outfit. The blue ones go with our beloved TANGERINE TANGO color scheme perfectly, and the purple and mustard are equally jovial. The other day my mom informed me that the purple ones are too small on her, so they might just end up in my closet. I’ve never owned anything mustard, which means that there is a good chance that if I don’t get the purple ones, I’ll be ordering the golden hued flats from Overstock.com!
***
Amazingly enough, I spent less than $200.00 on 6 tops, 3 bottoms, and 1 pair of shoes, and now I have a fabulous spring/summer wardrobe! Now all I need to do is wait for the sun to come back out so that I can enjoy my fabulous new duds!
Anyone come across any awesome budget-friendly brights of late?
Dream Doppelgangers: Lilo and Me
For my 100th (!) post, I thought it would be fun to write about my Dream Doppelganger — a variation on the Celebrity Doppelganger phenomenon that has taken Facebook, Photoshop, and the Internet by storm.
Almost everyone has a celebrity doppelganger. Some are more fitting or more obvious than others. My husband was a dead-ringer for young Prince William when we were teenagers; one of my best friends looks like a thin and unconstipated Kim Kardashian; another friend, to his dismay, is the incarnation of Jerry Seinfeld in his heyday. Some people don’t have doppelgangers…or at least obvious celebrity doppelgangers. This is sad, not just in a Facebook Doppelganger Week kind of way, but because it can be lonely and isolating to not have a famous face with which to identify. What’s a ‘gangerless gal to do? Find a Dream Doppelganger and hope that nobody notices the lack of a physical facial resemblance!
When I was younger, I wished I could look like Rose McGowan. She had a very unique appearance, with amazing cheekbones, huge brown eyes and pouty lips. She’s never been a typical plastic, trannified Hollywood Barbie doll, and that is why she’s always been A-okay in my book. Rose seemed very independent and totally impervious to societal norms — another criterion of mine. Her gloriously bad outfits in Scream and, later, on Charmed, were hard enough to mimic…her real life wardrobe choices (and lifestyle choices) were even tougher. In the end, Rose turned out to be a difficult role model/doppelganger to emulate, inside and out. Cleft chin notwithstanding, my look–and MO–had nothing on Rose. I had to keep searching for a more imitable DD.
Sometime in college, after Mean Girls had reached its apex of popularity, my Dream Doppelganger fascination turned to Lindsay Lohan. A fellow New Yorker, she was around my age, had an awkward phase as a kid, was prone to freckles, had big boobs and a crazy family and always talked like she was copping a defensive attitude. We were practically kindred spirits. As a bonus, LiLo possessed a famous mane of red hair, and I’ve always equated red hair with awesomeness. Surely there was something that LiLo could teach me about being a slightly disheveled but decidedly glamorous badass! (BTW. This assessment took place before her string of DUIs, wardrobe malfunctions and issues with insurability.) My Dream Doppelganger was found and LiLo was it: I was going to be the coolest [bottle] redhead ever!
As I learned, putting LiLo on a pedestal is not easy given our various incongruities. Not only am I [usually] unwilling to dress like a grannyhooker slathered in tanning grease and vodka (her “responsible”/”going to court” outfit), but I can’t keep up with her weight fluctuations, plastic surgery, and impromptu dye jobs. Still, I’ve taken notes on her one-part-Old-Hollywood-Glamour/two-part-Porn-Star/three-part-Gutter-Punk schtick, and I’ve amassed some classic LiLo musts: black leggings, pleather leggings, sparkle leggings; cleave-hugging tees, mostly white; vintage band tees; aviator and wayfarer sunglasses; leather jackets; gaudy jewelry; obnoxious heels. Notice something interesting? LiLo’s closet staples, as partially noted in my About section, get a whole lot of face time on this blog…because, unbeknownst to LiLo herself, she is actually a silent partner in the founding Order of The GSB!
And so, despite LiLo’s tumultuous life, her ups and downs, and her hits and misses, she has remained at the helm of my [thin]spiration board for several years now. Because nobody can display side boob or a chipped nail or a near-face-plant-from-wearing-a-6-inch-platform-shoe with as much grace and resolve as LiLo. And nobody can rock leggings and ripped up tees harder than LiLo. And nobody can turn a pack of smokes into as glamorous an accessory as LiLo.
A couple of years ago I dressed up as LiLo for Halloween. I bought a red wig, some requisite LiLo attire (sparkle leggings, chunky jewels, pleather goods), and went to town. The results were pretty funny.
Here’s LiLo the weekend before my Halloween outing:
…And here’s my Halloween outfit:
Here’s another comparison, side by side:
(…………………Close enough, right?)
Leather and chains aside, one item that I was sure would be a LiLo must was a pair of yellow wayfarers. Though I’m not 100% on how long she’s had hers, I assumed that they would have eventually surfaced in her public appearances, and I decided to preemptively procure them. My yellow shades have served me well, although they’ve caused me as much accusatory hipster grief as I’m sure LiLo’s various wardrobe malfunctions have caused her. (See? Totally living a parallel life here!)
(with one of my besties)
(Yeah. I actually go running dressed like this.)
…And, here’s LiLo at Coachella last weekend rocking these ultimate LiLo shades:
(Image via http://www.dlisted.com)
LiLo’s also known for sitting around on park benches, puffing away regardless of who’s watching. She’s not afraid to be herself! You go, girl!
(Image via http://www.fashionfame.com)
Hey, I totally do that too!
(Me as “LL,” with one of my aforementioned BFFs, “Kim K”)
So, even though I don’t really look anything like her, I take much inspiration from LiLo’s adventurous wardrobe and behavioral decisions. And that’s all I really need — LiLo is my style and attitude icon; she’s my Dream Doppelganger.
Who”s your celebrity doppelganger? Or, if you’re a loner like me, who’s your Dream Doppelganger?
Stupid Trends, Explored
Though no trend annoys me more than the romper, there are a number of equally dimwitted style ideas that just refuse to disappear. I know that designers must be hard-pressed for innovation, since everyone else in their industry has already attempted one creative oeuvre or another, but I nevertheless find it baffling that they continue to come up with hideously stupid ideas…and that said ideas actually catch on. Most of my sartorial aggression is geared toward fast fashion retailers (ASOS, Forever 21, H&M) trying to make hipster things happen. Okay, I confess. Most of my aggression, in general, is geared toward hipsters. We all have to have a scapegoat, don’t we? Anyway. Below is my shortlist of trends I wish would just go away and never come back.
1. Boyfriend jeans (or shorts or pants):
I’m sure Tommy Girl and Lord Xenu conspired with the media gods to make certain that the aptly referenced Joey Potter would be photographed wearing BOYFRIEND JEANS and Lanvin flats, because that one photo created a whole fashion frenzy. Too bad that look is harder to pull off than the romper, regardless of what the magazines and style reports try to tell you. Boyfriend jeans have this incredible capacity to look sloppy regardless of circumstance. They make even the fittest look fat, and the fattest look uncomfortable. Rolled up, ripped at the bottom or just shapelessly hanging there like a discarded dish rag, boyfriend jeans should only be worn for the purposes of re-painting the living room or power-hosing the siding of your house. And just as putting lipstick on a pig doesn’t change the nature of the pig, wearing high heels and sequins doesn’t make boyfriend jeans un-disgusting.
2. Peep toe boots (and peep toe flats):
In the name of all that is pointless and wasteful, nothing used to annoy me (and my impressionable toes) more than peep toe boots. I’m not sure when they became all the rage (circa 2006?), but one day they showed up at every shoe store and ceased to leave. Peep toe boots are an idiotic concept from a seasonal perspective, in that, generally, the whole point of wearing a boot is to keep the toes and foot dry, warm, and safe from the elements. In response to the argument that peep toe boots are a “summer thing,” consider this: when it’s 80 degrees outside and you’re wearing an encased leather boot barefoot, will there ever be a point when your foot does not begin to perspire and become susceptible to painful rubbing and perhaps even blistering? I just can’t deal. Peep toe flats, while seasonally appropriate, just do not appeal to me on an aesthetic level.
3. Drop-shoulder anything:
I know, I know. Slouchy- and messy-chic has been in for a while now; NASTYGAL and Urban Outfitters et al have made sure of that. But is it flattering? I guess so, if you’re really tall and really thin with demure little shoulders and/or a penchant for exposing a pop of a malnourished clavicle (it seems like drop shoulder tops MUST be worn exaggeratedly slouching off to one side). Most people, however, would look much more anatomically balanced if they stayed away from drop-shoulder knits, for this style accentuates big shoulders and upper arms, and that is no bueno. Let’s give it the ole’ Project Runway assessment to drive the point home. From Tim Gunn’s point of view, this style fits poorly. From Nina Garcia’s point of view, this style looks haphazardly executed (drop-shoulder is often combined with stripe knits, where the vertical stripes go across the body and shoulders and arbitrarily clash with horizontal stripes when reaching the upper arm, or vice-versa). I’ll stick to my classic Parisian striped boatnecks, thanks.
4. Backlessness:
If you have a fit back and a realllllly good sticky backless bra that magically holds your goods in place and allows you to prance around in dramatic plunging back dresses, then you go on now witch’yo badass self! On the right person, nothing looks more chic and racy than a super fabulous backless dress. For most of us, however, there are realistic limitations, like unsightly back fat, unreliable bras, or body types that are incapable of pulling off such a glamorous style. This does not stop designers from routinely concocting backless horrors for the everygirl. The result often ends up black-barred on the DON’T pages of various publications. Many shrug at the backlessness and approach it as if it were a regular item. Big mistake! Unfortunately, wearing a regular bra with such a garment looks pretty tacky, and layering a camisole underneath the garment is reminiscent of the white-tee-under-tank disaster from the 1990s. Then there’s the whole question of taste: at times, the level of back plunge has an inverse correlation to the level of classiness.
5. Obscure cutouts on clothes and shoes:
When the recession hit and “poor newsboy style” became the crux of every designer’s inspiration board, one of the casualties of this approach was women’s footwear. Itty bitty oxford shoes infiltrated virtually every brand’s lineup. First snapped up by the hipsters/gender studies grad students/improv actors, the oxfords, unfortunately and against all odds, became a universal hit. So much so that designers had to come up with an even more aesthetically defiant incarnation of the trend by adding CUT-OUTS to the shoes. This horror only lasted a few months in the summer of 2010 (I think. I hope.), but I still see people wearing them. I’ve found that shoe so visually enervating that I will never look at a flat leather shoe with laces the same again.
And cutouts are nothing new, of course. Slits down the outer edges of sleeves have been around for ages (or at least during all of the coke-fueled years as depicted by Goodfellas and Forrest Gump), and they keep coming back. Some people can pull this off. Others cannot. Same goes for super slutty Hervé Léger knock-off dresses with strange and arbitrary mesh inserts, or straps that are woven and sewn together to reveal, uh, revealing cutouts. I’m not sure if it’s more important to question the fit or the taste level in the case of these cutouts, but I’m pretty sure that both are often lacking when it comes to attire that exposes a little more than it probably should.
6. Double back vents on skirts and jackets:
Yes. I have a big problem with a small suiting modification. So big, in fact, that when I buy a jacket or a skirt with the double vent, I keep it sewn shut, even if it means that I sometimes have to shuffle around like Morticia Addams in her octopus sex dress. Why? Because IMO, double vents look cheap, or, if not cheap, then frequently not flattering on petite women. If you’re a very tall man (see, anyone on ESPN), a double-vented jacket is understandably your best bet. But on a number of women (oh haiii), the double vent turns into a tripartite posterior nightmare: the center pops up, almost like the back of a onesie, while the 2 outer flaps just kind of hang idly. From the side, the look is unflattering and sloppy, and it cannot be mitigated with a belt. A similar situation occurs with skirts: the sides tighten around the leg and the center flap kicks up like the tail of a Labrador Retriever. A pencil skirt turns into a trumpet skirt. And just when you think that maybe all of your fit problems can be solved by sizing up, you realize that you’re wrong, because sizing up just makes the whole suit hang awkwardly. There is no winning. I’m not saying that this is a universal problem. I’m guessing this just affects apple- and pear-shaped women. Nevertheless, I see too many apple- and pear-shaped women fall victim to these awful double vents, and we all deserve a voice!
7. Smock-anything:
Yeah, yeah. I know it’s “summery” and “casual” and “soooo comfortable.” But I find smocking too sloppy to work beyond a beach cover-up. Also, where there’s smocking, you know there’s often compensatory bunching and fluffing, and that equates to schlocky fit, and that, of course, leads to a ranty GSB post. Le voilà!
8. Cropped tops:
Kelly Kapowski we are not. I don’t know why cropped tops keep being resurrected by fast fashion retailers as if they’re trying to awaken a militant ancient civilization, but they look so horrible that they must be stopped. Okay, if you’re a rail-thin teenage hipster, you can keep your cropped muscle tee with the large ironic screen print of neon Wayfarers on it. Skinny teenagers can wear whatever they want. It’s just a phase. But for the rest of us? Come on now. Unless you’re trying to show off your enviable abs at the gym, there is just no reason to subject the world to this apparel atrocity. Even if it doesn’t look too horrible on you, you’re just adding fuel to the fire and making people think that it’s okay to dress like that in public.
9. Bell shaped sweaters and boxy tees:
Sweaters that flare out at the bottom make no logical, geometrical, or aesthetic sense to me. I know that, along with cropped tops, they were all the rage in the 1980s and 1990s, but this is no excuse to reinstate a trend that should have never existed. And boxy tees? Come on, brah. They are so disgusting and unflattering that they make anyone who wears them look like a pregnant pirate. And of course, the one pictured above also happens to be a DROP SHOULDER tee. In the words of fabled F21 sartorial observer Rachel Kane, Forever 21, WTF?
I could have kept rambling but maybe I’ll save that for another day. Feel free to comment with your own grievances; it’s totally healthy!
The Faux Amis: Materially Minded (Part 1 of 3)
People often ask me where I shop, what I recommend to ensure that one’s closet is full of staples and quality items, and how this can be accomplished without breaking the bank. While staples, in my opinion, are a pretty subjective concept (i.e. not all classic staples work for all people), quality within reasonable means is one thing that should be universally explored. In Part 1 of this 3 part series of The Faux Amis, I’m going to cover the caveats of the more luxurious materials and what to be mindful of when analyzing them. Part 2 will cover retailers that are notorious for faking quality and why they are best avoided. Part 3 will focus on those subjective “every woman must own” staples, as well how to maximize the strengths of budget-friendly retailers to build that perfect wardrobe.
***
I frequently cite the shortcomings of cheap materials, bad stitching and schlocky fit. Overall, my biggest piece of advice when analyzing a wardrobe contender is to always read the label on a garment, with as much attention as you would if you were reading the label on a food product. (A shoutout to Helen at DietingFashions, whose blog echoes the notion that diets and fashion are inextricably connected — so true!)
Just as you want to be certain that the organic soup you’re buying is low on sodium, free of MSG, and high on real nutritional value, you want to be sure that the warm and fuzzy coat you’re buying is actual wool, that the soft and comfy top you’re holding won’t be pilling after 2 washes, and that the dress that fits like a glove in the dressing room won’t be prone to runs and wrinkles. Other considerations include whether it’s worth it to buy real leather and suede or a PU synthetic (it depends), whether cashmere is worth all the hype (sometimes), and whether shady materials like mohair, silk, and linen are worth the investment (not if you’re sloppy by nature or averse to dry cleaning bills). Although real and luxury materials are great, they should all come with extensive warning labels, because investing in them is not always worth the caveats. A primer on all those questionable materials:
Suede: If you had to cut out one “real” material, my vote would go to suede. In the most general of terms, suede is a poor investment. It stains easily, it’s hard to clean, it has a tendency to bleed onto things, and it will either turn gray, dry out, or eventually start to look like leather. Some suede also tears easily (ever notice how fragile fringe can be?), doesn’t carry the “vintage” look well (unless you’re one of those people who is magically capable of making the rattiest, shabbiest things look chic), and it doesn’t work with everything in your closet (kind of like velvet or corduroy – they’re just not universal). In short, suede is just one of those materials that is best owned in small doses. A little suede clutch, mini skirt or a pair of booties that you break out a few times a season are great examples of acceptable non-necessities. But blowing a few hundred bucks on a suede jacket or suede boots? Not recommended if you’re trying to maximize your ROI.
Believe it or not, it’s probably a better investment to visit a “fast fashion” (read: cheapo) store like Forever 21 or H&M to pick up something “suedette” — an item that will pass for the real deal, even up close, but won’t make your wallet weep if something goes wrong a month later. Retailers are getting increasingly good at faking suede; this is a wonderful thing!
(Suedette Cone Heel Anke Boots at Forever 21)
Leather: Leather is versatile and awesome. It keeps you warm in the winter and cool in the warmer months. While it is also prone to scratches, adverse to stain removal, expensive to clean, and shares suede’s propensity for bleeding, it ages much better, looks cool when it’s old and distressed and rubbed out, and, crotchless chaps notwithstanding, leather in any form adds edge and spunk to an outfit. One caveat with leather is that the more buttery (luxurious) it is, the harder it is to keep clean and scratch-free. On the other hand, tougher (cheaper) leather is the kind that is more impervious to klutzy incidents. If you’re super prim and neat, splurging on the good stuff is worth it. If you’re a haute mess (like me), make sure that you’re aware of the risk you’re taking if you’re going to shell out for the good stuff, and consider something more durable.
If you’re on a budget, “leatherette,” PVC or, sigh, PLEATHER, is always a viable option. To maximize the realness factor, it’s best to avoid items that are wildly colored, overly adorned, or overly shiny (unless you’re going for that retro PVC look, though I don’t know why you would). Fake leather in neutral colors and textiles, however, can be very convincing. With awareness about cruelty-free lifestyles spreading all over the fashion world, a number of vegan designers have cropped up in the market. From shoes to bags to jackets (see, Express’s whole line of (MINUS THE) LEATHER goods), we no longer have to make so many style sacrifices to be Eco-conscious (and budget-friendly!).
(Express (minus the) leather Jacket)
Cashmere: Cashmere is a delicious luxury. It’s warm, it’s soft, it’s like wearing the hug of your favorite plush toy from when you were a child… But it can be costly, and it pills, and it CANNOT be cleaned without the aid of a professional dry cleaner (unless you want to risk using a DIY super sensitive treatment in the wash, which can have very unpleasant ramifications. Trust me.). Cashmere is also prone to tears (because it’s such a soft and delicate knit) and, to reiterate, to pilling (because it’s so fluffy). If you take care of it well, then you will be well-rewarded.
A lower maintenance alternative to cashmere is a cashmere blend: many retailers have been doing this to save money, and if done properly, the result is a more cost-effective, easier to maintain soft product. As an alternate to expensive sweaters, a safe cashmere investment is a big, warm cashmere blend scarf (it will keep you much warmer than regular wool).
Mohair: Cashmere’s cheaper cousin, mohair is another form of soft and fluffy wool. While it’s warm and whimsical, mohair tends to fuzz all over everything (don’t wear black pants with a wide-gauge mohair sweater unless you want to look like you own a lot of short-haired cats!), pill, and make you feel itchy (maybe it’s just me). Though it’s usually not a costly investment like cashmere, mohair can be irritating and not worth the fuss. When added to the blend mix of a wool knit, however, mohair is pretty cool.
If you have sensitive skin, however, you might want to save up for cashmere instead because mohair is a bit more coarse.
Regular Wool: Shetland wool, Merino wool, alpaca hybrid wool…the combinations are endless. Wool is good stuff: it keeps you warm, it’s nice and cozy, it’s often reasonably priced, and it doesn’t always have to be dry-cleaned. Of all the winter fabrics, it’s the most cost-effective. But, unlike mohair or cashmere, wool is often on the casual end of the spectrum, and it can be very itchy. Wool can also pill (especially if it’s a Merino wool blend from Banana Republic. Don’t get me started.), although wider-gauge knits are usually easier to keep free of pilling logs than softer, thinner combinations. Cable knits or micro knits will probably be a safer bet than merino and alpaca. Ditto for anything with a cotton blend.
As I regularly mention, a major “wool” faux ami is the diabolical material known as acrylic. It’s cheap, it’s almost plastic, it pills, and it ages faster than women in the Lohan family. Sometimes a small percentage of acrylic in a wool blend is tolerable (J. Crew has been doing that lately, and it’s not too bad), but anything over 30% acrylic is bad news. Another caveat is merino. Merino can be very comfy, but it can also be very itchy. You won’t know until you try it on, which means that ordering 100% merino wool online is risky business.
Silk: Kind of like the cocaine of fabrics, silk is an unforgiving, difficult, expensive, and addictive substance. Extremely prone to stains, wrinkles, dry cleaning bills and revealing fits, silk is not easy to manage, but hard to stop buying once you get hooked. As with the above noted materials, silk is not for the messy, and it takes a lot of care to maintain. Luckily, silk is a fun material for layering (which means that it can be worn every season), it is versatile, can be dressed up or down (though more up than down), and does wonders to your outfit self-esteem because it feels nice on the skin and looks expensive. Silk satin is the worst fabric for klutzes because it can run at the touch of an unfiled nail, while silk chiffon, with its porous texture, is much more approachable. Crisper silks or silk/nylon blends are also more fool-proof. A good silk investment is one (or 50) silk scarf, or a classic shell to wear under a suit. Silk dresses are awesome if you have the body to let it all hang out (because it usually will); if not, save the cash for something better.
If you’re on a budget, the only viable alternative to silk is polyester chiffon. A warning: polyester chiffon does not allow the skin to breathe at all. Accordingly, opt for flowier cuts (think skirts or boho blouses).
(Breezy poly-chiffon tops at Forever 21)
Linen: Light and beachy and organic and so breathably summery, linen might seem like an attractive fabric at first glance, but unless you’re a Hamptons denizen, there isn’t much that you can do with it. It wrinkles after 3 minutes and looks sloppy no matter what. Sloppy chic wide leg linen pants are probably the only example of a linen garment that doesn’t look gross, and even then, it has too limited a wardrobe scope to warrant procurement. Linen tunics are cool, but summer-only. Linen is strictly casual. Of course, if you live somewhere warm and you often find yourself lounging by the water, linen is a great investment (oh, and screw you. Because I am jealous!). Generally speaking, though, pure linen is a waste of time.
In recent years, many retailers have started to make linen blend tops, either with or without the slubbing effect, which is a fun way to add uniqueness to a casual sweater or tee. Linen blends are a far better investment than plain linens, in my opinion. Luckily, linen is pretty cheap, so if you make the mistake of buying a summery lemon-colored skirt that wrinkles the second you sit down, at least learning the lesson won’t physically cost you too much.
To summarize, suede, mohair, and linen are not nearly as practical, versatile, or luxurious as leather, cashmere, and silk (at least in my experience and opinion). I’m not the best judge because I’m kind of klutzy and messy (though said qualities are balanced out by my cleaning OCD), but I think that in the grand scheme of things, stains and pills happen to everyone. Luckily, pretty much every fancy fabric now has a less danger-prone “blend” variety, and that really gives consumers the best of both worlds. If a garment is only 20% silk or cashmere, it can be put through a gentle wash cycle without turning into a shrunken crunchy mess. It will also cost less. Read the label and make the call; it’s amazing how much easier it is to put a garment back on the rack when you see its composition!
As a post-script, one of the best and fool-proof fabrics in the world is…drumroll…100% cotton! Although it can shrink and hold some stains more than other fabrics, it is breathable, natural, sensitive skin-proof, sustainable, organic, soft, often pill-proof, easy to wash and all around comfy!
Next time: which retailers cut corners in the quality department and how to avoid falling into their money-eating traps!
In Defense of… Sea of Shoes
Though I routinely snark about the functional limitations of FASHION/PERSONAL STYLE BLOGS, there are certain mainstays to which my criticism does not apply. Some blogs are so big, so well-known, and so self-sustaining throughout the blogosphere that they need no introduction, explanation, or analysis because they are a part of our collective consciousness; they’re more or less the pillars of this amorphous e-genre. Though the average blogger’s idea of “IT FASHION BLOGS” will be unique in composition, it’s sure to contain at least one of the following: Sea of Shoes, Cupcakes and Cashmere, What I Wore, Man Repeller, and/or The Glamourai. Cute, creative, fun, hilarious, quirky, nauseatingly perfect, covetably dripping in nonliquid assets as evidenced by exquisite wardrobes bigger and better than Mimi or Xtina, each of these blogs is well-established and has something fabulous to offer, something to teach us, something to make us smile. Whether the blogger has mastered the art of appetite-whetting camera angles, androgynizing fun obscurities and establishing the interchangeability of haute and hid, redefining conventions of beauty, making everyone yearn for a five-fold increase in disposable income or prompting other adventurous bloggers to try red tights or to pair grotesquely awesome palazzo pants with GaGa-lite heels, there’s a reason why these 5 women are in the perpetual spotlight of the blogosphere. And, in one way or another, they have each earned their success.
Every once in a while someone will come out with a challenge to this notion of earned success in the form of a scathing blog post or article about some popular fashion blog, criticizing its substance (or lack thereof), making fun of its approach, or accusing the blogger of being a spoiled, rich brat. There is jealousy; there is misappropriated rage; there is a melange of unnecessary nastiness. While all bloggers know that, to put it colloquially, haters gonna hate, I think that most of us still like to think that the blogosphere (at least the fashion-minded blogosphere) aims to be a self-editing, supportive milieu for writers and style mavens to engage in fun and positive discourse. Though there is a direct correlation between increased exposure and the propensity for negative responses to one’s blog, one would hope that people — particularly our own people — would keep it civil. Yes, everyone is completely entitled to their own opinion, and yes, anyone can make a career of writing nothing but smack about other bloggers or writers…but that takes much of the sparkle and fun out of the equation.
Some of the anti-blogger hostility may stem from the fact that the critics are writers, (actual, working writers or aspiring writers), who feel the need to differentiate themselves from bloggers, and who, perhaps, feel that blogging is below writing. I know because I used to hold this opinion — that journalism or prose or academic writing is far superior to firing off random, un-spell-checked dribble online. To a degree, this view holds some merit: in many cases, it probably does take more knowledge, talent, and/or technical skill to write a book (a real book, not crap like discussed here) or an expository, peer-reviewed, well-researched article than it does to post cutesy collages or outfit travelogues featuring the tapping of last season’s Prada shoes. But that’s not the point; comparing apples to oranges is, after all, fruitless.
It’s understandable why writers might have a problem with successful bloggers. Many writers spend years in school writing dissertations about esoteric literary concepts. Many find themselves slaving away at their computers (suffering, interchangeably, from vodka overuse or writers block while trying to compose something great). Others try to avoid face-palming while playing the role of a tireless, sycophantic barista to princely editors in hopes of a chance to get something published. All this work and suffering and sacrifice to no avail…and yet some teenage trustafarian gets to prance around in tutus and platform shoes, take pictures of same, and gain instant fame, recognition, a book deal and a line at Sears? “Serious writers” work their way up through the requisite channels only to possibly get a brief whiff of success while bloggers strike it big just for making Polyvore collages and baking lemon scones? I know. Life’s not fair. Admit that you’re jealous and own your emotions. Or better yet, admire the lucky ducks, wish them well, take notes, and move on. Don’t lash out in hostility against fashion bloggers, however. It’s not productive and not even original.
***
Back to the topic at hand. A recent, purportedly unfavorable, profile of Sea of Shoes auteur Jane Aldridge in the Texas Monthly caused a bit of a stir in the e-media world: pursuant to the media’s interpretation of the piece, Ms. Aldridge (and perhaps other successful fashion bloggers too?) is more of an entitled child star than a fashion maven. As provoked and prodded by New York Magazine’s The Cut Blog, the story turned into a ridiculous snark and rebuttal party, complete with fallacies, misconstrued assumptions, hurt feelings, and boatloads of nasty reader comments (a phenomenon that is de riguer for NYMag but always sad to see nonetheless). Bloggers and reporters and writers weighed in on this ludicrous situation, but it sounds like many missed the crux of the mess: NYMag appears to be largely responsible for the onslaught of negativity toward Ms. Aldridge (and for the negative interpretation of Jason Sheeler’s story), given its choice of quotes for out-of-context analysis. This is disappointing, but in a fast-moving world where clicks are worth more than relationships or morals, it’s understandable. What is most unfortunate, however, is that both Ms. Aldridge and Mr. Sheeler have been unfairly victimized by this situation. So what actually happened here?
(Jane Aldridge, image via http://style.com)
Some background: Ms. Aldridge, a fellow bottle redhead and a fellow enthusiast of shoes, octopi, and animal-themed décor, isn’t even old enough to drink yet, but manages to run a fun, colorful, witty, and highly successful blog. I’ve been a visitor of Sea of Shoes for several years now, and while it’s obvious that Ms. Aldridge is an incredibly lucky girl (not only is she gorgeous and built like a model, but she has two supportive and involved parents who have helped her finance her dreams of blogging and acquiring an extensive shoe collection), I think that her knowledge of style is incredible, her point of view is whimsical and very unique, and the fact that she established such a strong sense of individuality at such a young age is admirable all by itself. Her blog is always well-written, and often reminiscent of a generously funded fashion editorial spread for a fall issue of a large magazine. The fact that one girl (with some parental assistance) is able to pull this off is amazing. Many people agree. Many people also agree that Aldridge’s writing suggests that she is a mature, articulate, and wise individual with poise far beyond her years.
In contrast with this common perception of Ms. Adridge, the Texas Monthly profile, as excerpted and analyzed in NYMag’s Cut Blog, appeared to have a mocking, pejorative, and condescending tone. Without having full access to said profile (conveniently for NYMag’s cause, Texas Monthly is a pay-to-read-premium-content publication), one had no choice but to assess the situation through the lens of NYMag’s post, and to assume that Jason Sheeler was on a mission to write a scathing piece about Ms. Aldridge. Maybe the writer was not well equipped to profile a young, hip, girly fashion blogger? Maybe he didn’t understand what all the hullabaloo regarding SoS was about? Maybe he had a bratty younger sister who tormented him growing up, and profiling a spunky and opinionated young lady set him off on a tangent? I mean, why else would someone want to be so negative?
Purportedly painting Aldridge as a spoiled, bossy, and vacuous control freak, the quotes from Sheeler’s profile that were cited by NYMag seemed a bit isolated (read: taken out of context), but nevertheless came out sounding so forced and deliberately negative that they suggested the presence of a bias on the part of Sheeler. NYMag’s analysis of these excerpts really didn’t help at all (given that they were most likely just stirring the pot by selectively leaving out all the touching details of the profile, or any signs of the fact that Sheeler actually knew–and cared–plenty about fashion and SoS’s relative position in the fashion/blogging world, and that Sheeler had a very fond view of the Aldridge family and the SoS blog).
The way NYMag described it, Sheeler was not keen on Aldridge’s teenage ‘tude, on her blogging methods, or on her plans for the future. It seemed like Aldridge was probed, crudely, about her website’s monetary aspects and about her college aspirations, and that she was put in a situation where any response would have yielded some forked-tongue reaction from the reader. Hardly. According to a follow-up post, Sheeler spent countless hours with both Aldridge and her mother; he admired her veracity and spunk; he appreciated the fact that she had no qualms about paving her own, unconventional path…he even thought that her whole acting-like-a-child-in-adult-shoes schtick was cute and affable, not entitled and obnoxious. However, all these little crucial facts were predictably lost in truncation, because that would not have made a good story. Just think: what gets more clicks? A headline that reads “In Her Shoes: Sheeler’s Playful Profile of Talented Texas Blogger Jane Aldridge” or “Why Sea of Shoes’ Jane Aldridge Won’t Go to Fashion Shows, College” ? It’s no wonder that Ms. Aldridge’s response to this lovely use of spin was “hope you get lots of clicks.”
Turns out, it wasn’t just Aldridge’s sound bites that were taken out of context by “the media.” Jason Sheeler’s profile was conveniently hounded for the juiciest (read: controversy-stirring) bits and reposted for drool and public scrutiny. This was revealed in Sheeler’s subsequent rebuttal to the NYMag post. Truth be told, Sheeler sounds like a nice, thoughtful and good-natured writer who earnestly tried to capture a young ingenue’s multi-faceted personality. The way that he explained his conveyance of Aldridge’s “child-star” behavior, it becomes apparent that he meant no animosity; that he viewed her level of self-actualization and POV as a good thing. Sheeler wanted to paint a whimsical, slightly edgy portrait of a young, opinionated, and in-control rising star. This included throwing in a vignette about not touching her glitter shoes. And another about her intonation when recalling the brand of a top. And her smirk at the idea of going to Nordstrom Rack. Sheeler was not trying to say that Aldridge is a spoiled bimbo with her parent’s credit card and a runaway ego. He was merely giving us an intimate and cordial glimpse of this very real, very eccentric, very lovable young girl’s life. NYMag took all that and CUT BLOGGED it up into a hideously oversimplified caricature. But of course, the words were said, the quotes were printed, and the most consequential snippets were taken out of context to provoke verbal sniping from NYMag’s bored and bellicose readers.
What’s truly unfortunate is that the negative response to NYMag’s coverage of the Texas Monthly’s coverage of SoS (I’m getting really tired of distinguishing between the two, but it’s a very important point worth making, n’est-ce pas?) is so much more prevalent than the positive response to Sheeler’s original article, that it has caused Ms. Aldridge (and her family, I’m sure) to become quite upset, not just with NYMag, as they rightfully should be, but with Sheeler. Even more unfortunate is the fact that the situation became so convoluted that it got turned into a question of fact-checking and accurate reporting. And yes, Texas Monthly and NYMag both appear to have mostly done their homework, in that whatever factual information they provided appears to have been substantiated by one sufficient source or another. In response to Ms. Aldridge’s quip that she was misquoted, both publications happily retorted that they “stood by their fact-checked stories,” some even in their “Jimmy Choo heels.” That’s not the point, and that’s not really the problem. Texas Monthly might be off the hook here, but NYMag should have known better. Maybe they’re not guilty of making things up, but they’re sure as hell guilty of being wildly inconsiderate and obnoxious.
Because of this whole “he-typed, she typed” debacle, I think what really happened is that Ms. Adridge, while happy with the original story in the Texas Monthly, was very unhappy with how said story was butchered, reinterpreted, and misconstrued by NYMag; how things were unfavorably curtailed and taken out of context; how quickly, hotly, and nastily her fondly-regarded image took a nosedive in the eyes of snarky Cut Blog commenters et al. And while she certainly has every right to be upset, she can’t exactly articulate the specific reasons for how she feels because bloggers, especially high-exposure bloggers, waive some of their liberties and expectations for respect and privacy when they make it into the big leagues. As Sheeler noted in his own rebuttal post, he advised Aldridge of this phenomenon of media exposure — that she won’t like what’s written about her and that she won’t be happy with the public’s reaction. Touché.
Still, those who care enough about SoS (and those who like to see integrity served with their daily dose of reporting) know better. They see Jane Aldridge for far more than just a pretty little rich girl in magical Miu Muis. They have taken the time to cut through the stupid spin imposed by NYMag to understand what Sheeler was actually trying to say. And they have cheered her on as she came out on top of the situation: even while faced with the snide hostility, Aldridge wrote a polite “rebuttal” addressing the mess, and, as Fashionista reported last week, it appears as though she will have the last laugh. Ms. Aldridge is still well-regarded by most, she’s received much support throughout this ridiculous situation, and she has managed to maintain her composure despite the harsh dose of the media spotlight.
Materialistic Mondays: Mad for Milly
Yes, I know I need a low dose prescription of Welbutrin to help me get a grip on my alliteration addiction. A quickie post this morning is dedicated to my love of Michelle Smith’s Milly. The New York-based label is ultra-feminine, with beautiful textiles, feminine flair (and flare – many of her dresses are A-line, har har), and a love of bows and flowers. If Milly dresses didn’t cost an arm and a leg, I’d be living in them. Luckily, Banana Republic often seems to be on a similar wavelength as its upper crust style doppelganger, and people sometimes ask me if that $60 dress I scored off the BR sale rack is of the $460 Milly variety. Sure, if you say so!
Check out ShopBop’s latest Milly promo:
I think I have found my next “eating ramen for a week to finance” specimen: how GORGEOUS is the poppy dress?
